I’ve never had any client come into my office saying, “I suffer from toxic shame.” In fact, a lot of people don’t know what it is or that it’s a problem. They think of it as something “normal” or “not a big deal.”...
The overwhelming theme for me this week is to pay attention to my expectations. What we expect has so much to do with how we think and feel. Expectations take us out of the Now. When that happens, we can’t enjoy or respond to what is here. So, we end up not living our...
In my previous post, I said that one way to reduce relationship friction is to take responsibility for what’s yours. This is a part of having great boundaries and being effective. But what does this look like exactly? “Taking responsibility” means...
If you are in a stormy relationship that you want to grow into a healthy one, it may be useful to call a truce. Here are some ground rules that you can consider adopting while in your truce so that you can function together while working things out. The guidelines are...
When we meet someone new, we can ask ourselves, “Are you the one for me?” If you don’t have a track record of happy relationships, it can be hard to know. Is there a checklist? Everyone has their own wish list for what they would like in a partner,...
Are you spinning your wheels? Can’t get any traction to move on? Here are five reasons why you’re stuck that can help you get going again. Did You Feel Your Feelings? Sometimes people hit a rough patch and do the stiff upper lip thing. They pretend it...
Let’s face it. Everybody gets angry sometimes. It’s not a “bad” thing. It’s a natural thing that alerts us when we feel our boundaries are being violated, we’re not being seen or heard, or we sense that things are not fair....
“I’ll always feel this pain” are words I hate to hear. They feel like the person is resigned to live with pain – like there is no hope. Guess what? There is hope for hurts that “never heal.” When I see people who tell me they will...
Projection is putting our thoughts, feelings, or fears on to someone else. It’s what we do when we are in Shadow. We do it because we’re uncomfortable with something within us. We want to get rid of that thing, so we give it to something outside of...
Everybody wants and needs love, but if you didn’t grow up with healthy examples of it, you may not know how to nurture and sustain love. Even if you did, you may be puzzled as to why the one you love doesn’t love you back. Keep reading for insight into how...
