defensiveness

Why Defensiveness is a Relationship Destroyer

If someone says something that we perceive as “You’re bad,” we generally respond in one of two ways: You’re even worse (attack). No, I’m not! (defense) Both of these are relationship destroyers. Most of us know that attacking leads to fighting and away from connection. In this article, I will discuss why defensiveness is a relationship […]

I get to

“I Have to” vs. “I Get To”

If you want to make one simple change that can alter the way you move through life, change “I have to” to “I get to.” Stress is caused by trying, feeling put upon, hurrying, and a lack of choice. When you have to do things, you can go through life feeling like a beast of […]

anger date

Boiling Mad? Schedule an Anger Date

When it comes to anger, there seems to be two types of people who get all the attention- those who have no problems spewing anger everywhere and those who feel it’s best to never display anger. I have a suggestion for the second group – schedule an anger date.  What’s an Anger Date? An anger […]

not supposed to feel

“I’m Not Supposed to Feel This Way”

Do you ever get surprised by thought “I’m not supposed to feel this way”? Do you think that you’ve outgrown a feeling or have healed and moved on only to be sneak attacked by old frustrations? What’s going on? Let’s take a look at some possibilities. You’re More Self Aware Sometimes being more self aware […]

numbness

Numbness, Dissociation, and Feelings

Do you feel asleep at the wheel? Do you miss subtle cues about what’s true or how people feel that other people seem to “just know?” Are you feeling numb, depressed, or just not here? Maybe it’s because you’re numb or dissociated. You can’t have a full, vibrant life if you are not in your body. […]

resting bitch face

Face It. Feel It.

Gone With the Wind is a fabulous movie. It’s a timeless look at humanity. One of the strongest scenes is when Scarlett is seen in the arms of her brother in law, Ashley. Her husband, Rhett Butler, won’t allow his disgraced wife to hide. He demands that she go to Melanie’s party and show her […]

work ethic

Cultivate a Work Ethic

One of the most harmful ideas promoted in the 90s was “Follow Your Bliss.” It makes it seem like happiness is the reason for living and if your work doesn’t make you happy, you’re failing. You’re in the wrong job. You’re missing out. Maybe you’re even a sap for degrading yourself and settling for less. […]

wimpy bailout

Living a Debt Free Life

If you want to live well, it’s beneficial to cultivate a debt free life. Debt happens in a few ways. You arrange to accept something now in exchange for repayment later – usually at a higher price. Someone gives you something of value, and you have not given something in exchange. This may not be […]

rigid boundaries

You Might Have Rigid Boundaries If…

I’ve posted a lot about boundaries lately that focus on establishing barriers between oneself and others. As with most things, you can either have too little or too much. In this article, we will focus on what it looks like to have boundaries that are too rigid. Boundaries are learned. If we don’t learn how […]

wild heart

Follow Your Wild Heart

I see a lot of people who feel like they don’t fit in, that they don’t belong where they are. They endure superficial conversations because the people around them don’t see them and can’t relate to them. Maybe they are lonely because they aren’t interested in what’s popular or trendy. There is a lot of […]