Are you spinning your wheels? Can’t get any traction to move on? Here are five reasons why you’re stuck that can help you get going again.
Did You Feel Your Feelings?
Sometimes people hit a rough patch and do the stiff upper lip thing. They pretend it didn’t matter, it didn’t hurt, and stuff it all inside. Maybe they even convince themselves that they have no feelings about it.
Feelings want to move. They have to be expressed. When they are bottled up, it prevents us from feeling the hurt, but it also prevents us from feeling everything else. The only way to keep moving is to let yourself go through it. Feel it. Take your time. It will last as long as it lasts, but it does end. You may think you can’t survive, but you can.
Are You Accepting the Truth?
Sometimes we fight for something that isn’t even real. Maybe it never was. Or maybe it is long gone. If you’re not dealing with things as they are, you’re not starting from a place of truth or power. It’s not easy to move on if you’re not present. So, here is a tip. Say it out loud. Whatever it is that you’re not facing, say the whole ugly truth of it. Keep saying it until you can say it without hurting and it just feels like information. Once it’s information, you can work with it.
Do You Need to Be Heard?
Feeling unheard is a huge barrier to finding closure. Sometimes the person that you need to hear you is dead or otherwise unavailable. Maybe it’s not a good idea to have contact with that person. It’s okay. You don’t have to be heard by the one who hurt you. It’s very therapeutic to simply be heard. So pick a person who is nonjudgmental and is willing to be a sounding board. Then spill it. Speak your truth.
Ask for validation. Maybe she can’t validate that you are right, but she can validate that you have a right to your perspective and feelings. Everyone is legitimate.
Are You Taking Responsibility For What’s Yours?
Sometimes being stuck is about blaming. Is this you?
Being adamant about being right can lead to bitterness. Maybe you are right, but if it makes you miserable and stuck, is it worth it?
You may never get the other party to take responsibility for how they contributed to the issue. However, if you take responsibility for what is yours, you can leave the situation a better person than you were when you began it. Maybe this means you make amends, apologize, learn new skills, or fix what was broken. Once you start moving, just keep moving. Action works.
Are You Seeing the Blessings in the Situation?
Gratitude is a fabulous healer. Every situation has a silver lining if we have the eyes to see it. If you can feel that you gained something from the situation, you’re more likely to be able to feel good about it – even if it feels unfinished or ended really badly. It may be not easy to see the good in horrible situations. Keep looking. Even if the only blessing is something like, “I’m glad I didn’t invest more time or money,” take it!
When you’ve been stuck a few times and have found your way out again, you begin to realize that it’s just part of the process of life. You can move on. Getting unstuck is not something someone else has to do for you. You have everything you need to help yourself. Ready to make that change?