Blog - Laura Giles, LCSW - Page 2
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Laura Giles, LCSW

Adverse childhood experiences

What’s My Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) Score?

The Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) score is based upon the answers to ten questions focused around childhood experiences. The assessment shows a relationship between traumatic childhood events and physical, social and emotional problems later in adulthood. This includes heart disease, diabetes, lung cancer, many autoimmune conditions, depression, violence, obesity, being a victim of domestic violence, as well as suicide. Additionally there are social risks such as higher rates of addiction, sexually transmitted diseases, multiple sexual partners, lack of health insurance, unemployment, less than a high school diploma, and lower income levels. A score of 4 or higher indicates a serious risk. While you can't change your past, you can take steps now to heal and to prevent another generation from enduring the same type of challenges that you had. Take the ACE Test Answer yes...

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sex trafficking

Are You Being Targeted for Sex Trafficking?

Could you be the target of sex trafficking? Many of us think that sex trafficking only happens to the young, but only 51% of them are children. That's 1.8 million children world wide and 100,000 per year in America. If you think that being male protects you, think again. 8% of detected trafficking victims are men, so while it's a low number, it's not 0. And males make up 35% of the labor trafficking victims. If you think age protects you, think again. While the most desirable age varies by locale, 30 - 38 year old women are the most likely victims worldwide. So sex trafficking is real. It impacts everyone, and no one is safe. To keep yourself safer, let's look at the grooming process so you will know if you...

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paranormal PTSD

Is Paranormal PTSD a Real Thing?

Could a person get post traumatic stress disorder from a paranormal event? Is paranormal PTSD a real thing? Any event, real or imagined, that results in intrusive memories, nightmares, being easily startled, hypervigilance, avoiding the place where the event happened, feelings of hopelessness, negative thoughts and emotions, numbness, sleep disturbances, dissociation, mood instability, engaging in self-destructive behavior, aggressiveness, and/or overwhelming guilt or shame could cause post traumatic stress disorder. I have worked in a psychiatric facility that did not take this seriously. The lead psychiatrist thought that the client's story was a result of delusions. He would not discharge her until she recanted her story. This is the same type of treatment that child molestation victims and rape victims endure. It can lead to deepening the trauma. This is why people don't talk...

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how to make therapy more effective

How to Make the Most Out of Therapy

People go to therapy because they have a problem. They are in pain, and want relief fast! Therapy is an investment. It takes time and money, so naturally you want to make the most out of therapy. Here are some tips to help you do just that! Get Clear on Why You're There It's hard to solve your problems if you aren't sure what they are. What's more, if you don't have a well defined goal, it will be very hard to hit it. So come with an overall goal for therapy. This will also help you to know when you're done. Pay Attention In Between Sessions I typically start session with a check in. "How's it going?" and "How are you?" aren't social greetings or niceties. They are check in questions. I want...

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be unmanipulatable

How to Be Unmanipulatable

Okay, first off, let me tell you that there is no way to be 100% unmanipulatable. However, there are ways to reduce your vulnerability, and this article will look at those. Ready? Forget About Stereotypes The first thing you need to do to reduce your vulnerability to manipulation is to forget about stereotypes. Manipulative people don't always look or talk like thugs. They aren't always mean or pushy. The scary thing about monsters is that they look like people. They look like your parents, the guy next door, your teacher, the preacher, and you. If you think you can avoid them by staying away from people who (fill in the blank), you're wrong. They aren't wearing signs that say, "I manipulate people." Grow Yourself People allow themselves to be manipulated. Manipulative people search...

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How Resilient Are You?

The man asked an Arab sheik what kind of car he drives, and he replied, "A Mercedes." He then asked what kind of car his son drives, he said, "A Land Rover." When he asked what type of car his grandson would drive, he said, "A camel. Soft times create soft people. Hard times create strong people." If you have ever struggled with a cashier who can't make change, a customer service agent who can't answer your question, or a supervisor who can't write with correct grammar and punctuation, you can see the results of soft times and abundance on our society. Maybe you are even one of the people who have become soft as a result of having too much given to you. Maybe you're not very resilient. How does this happen? Well, we...

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Disillusionment Is the Beginning of Love

Aren't fairy tale romances so sweet! Who doesn't want to be love bombed, struck with the certainty that this is "the one" and live happily ever after? Unfortunately, that's not how life works. And when we use that as our template for what a fulfilling relationship looks like, when the disillusionment hits, that's when the relationship tends to end. Don't give up before success happens! Disillusionment is the beginning of love. Say what? Yes. Think about the word. Disillusion means to free from illusion. That space after the honeymoon phase is real life. It's what you really look like when you have bills to pay, obligations to meet, and aren't in Prince Charming mode. Prince Charming is not sustainable and not real. It's easy to love that guy, but what about...

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How Nice is “Too Nice?”

Most of us were brought up to be nice. It makes relationships easier and living more hospitable, but where do you draw the line? How nice is too nice? What's "Nice?" Before we talk about how nice is too nice, let's define what it means to be nice. Nice is being pleasing, agreeable, friendly, polite, and kind. These are all things that we want, right? What could be bad about that? When we are too nice, it comes at a cost to ourselves. We teach people how to treat us, and when we put ourselves last, we show others that that is where we stand. That's where we are most comfortable. So we get more of that and don't get our own needs met. What "Too Nice" Looks Like: You over give of your...

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be a participant

Are you a Bystander or Participant in Your Life?

Some people observe life. Some live life as an object and let life act upon them. Others participate. If you want to live fully, be a participant in your life. Observers Observing is a great skill! It helps you to take in data so that you know what's going on around you so you can act effectively. However, if you never get in the game, you're not living. You're watching life happen around you. Everything is vicarious. This can keep you safe because you never get your feelings hurt, and you get to sit back and talk about what could have, should have, would have. This is not a substitute for experience. Life is meant to be experienced. A life without experience is no life at all. You might as well watch a...

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