emotions - Laura Giles, LCSW - Page 2
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emotions

resting bitch face

Is Resting Bitch Face (RBF) a Real Thing?

Do you have resting bitch face (RBF)? Don’t know what that is? Here are some symptoms:  people frequently ask you to smile morepeople think you’re angry or sad even when you’re notyour friends tell you that when they first saw you, they thought you were a bitchpictures of your face never look the way you feelpeople often ask what’s wrongwhen people get to know you, they remark about how pleasantly surprised they are to find you’re actually nicepeople avoid you “Resting” means that the face looks this way when the person is unprovoked. It’s an every day look. “Bitch” refers to the unapproachable, hostile interpretation of the facial expression. It can also be perceived as contemptuous or annoyed. Either way, it is not warm and welcoming. The overall effect is that viewers are...

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Conquering the Two Faces of Anxiety

Anxiety has two faces. If you understand what they both are, you have a shot at overcoming them. So let’s start by defining the first face. This type of anxiety is a feeling of foreboding that shows up for no reason. You don’t know when it will start or when it will go away. This type of anxiety has a physical cause. The Physical Face When the body is in a state of dis-ease, it creates signs to let you know so that you can intervene and bring it back into balance. Examples of these types of things are pain, moodiness, sleeplessness, hunger, lack of hunger, or anxiety. That’s right. Your lifestyle has an effect on emotional health because the mind, body, and spirit are all one unit. Since these symptoms are caused by...

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Why You Need to Know the Difference Between Sensitivity and Reactivity

Sensitivity is not reactivity. Sensitivity is the ability to perceive stimuli. Reactivity is about responsiveness to stimuli. The two are not the same, nor do they always go hand in hand. Let’s take a look at them separately to see what I mean. Sensitivity As with all things, there an be too much or too little sensitivity. There is also a sweet spot that is just right. When someone is very sensitive, they notice things more readily than other people. For instance, the buzzing of a fly could be absolutely unbearable. Sunlight could seem really intense. Smells, changes in temperature, food texture or flavors might seem really noticeable to sensitive people. This person could have a really hard time coping with the environment because she’s frequently overstimulated. People with low levels of sensitivity...

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How to Meet Your Emotional Needs

Just about everything our soul needs can fit into these categories: safety, connection, novelty, significance, growth, and contribution. When our top two emotional needs are met, we tend to be pretty happy. When all of our needs are met, we are living our passion. Sounds great, right? But do you ever wonder how to meet your emotional needs? Most of us look outside of ourselves for this. We either try to find a person who fills us up or find it in our work. When those things are good, we’re good. This works for a lot of people a lot of the time. The problem is that it puts control of our happiness in the hands of someone else. There is actually a way to meet your emotional needs that puts you in...

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How to Combat Loneliness

Loneliness is crippling. It’s a component of depression. It certainly impairs health. There are studies now that say that it is the root cause of addiction! Fortunately it is something that can be remedied with these two steps. Enjoy Yourself Everyone needs time with others. Humans are social creatures. Being social is part of our design. We need people for stimulation, growth, to help acquire resources to live, for entertainment, sex, breeding, and to feel connected. Everyone also needs alone time. That is also part of our design. We need alone time to rest, reset, get centered, and do solitary things. Many people feel the key to combating loneliness has to do with being with other people. If you’ve ever felt most separate and lonely in a crowd, you know that it isn’t. One...

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Boiling Mad? Schedule an Anger Date

When it comes to anger, there seems to be two types of people who get all the attention- those who have no problems spewing anger everywhere and those who feel it’s best to never display anger. I have a suggestion for the second group – schedule an anger date.  What’s an Anger Date? An anger date is a scheduled period of time where you talk about in all the things that make you angry. You could do this alone, with another person, or with a crowd of people. However many are participating, you just let it rip. Yell, scream, cry, be demonstrative. The only restrictions are that you can’t hurt yourself or anyone else, you can’t take your anger out on anyone else, and you must stop when the time is up.  Let’s...

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What’s Your Mental Diet Like?

We hear a lot about how important our diet is. We are encouraged to eat clean, reduce sugar, and eat in moderation. Most of us know the benefits of watching our diet, but what about our mental diet? How much attention do you pay to what your mind consumes? What are you feeding your brain? What Are You Watching? How much television do you consume? Is it uplifting programming? How much nudity, negative language, and violence do you consume? Do you feel keyed up, fearful, or negative afterward? Are you learning anything from what you view? These are some of the questions you can ask yourself. The answers can be used to shape your mental diet. Remember, you are what you consume. In this case, it’s what you’re watching. If you watch  lot of violence, it’s easier...

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Trends in Mental Health in 2018

Everything is always evolving. There are even trends in mental health. Here are some of the things I am seeing in my practice. Suicide is On The Rise It used to be that a therapist could go her whole career without having a suicide. If her clientele was low risk, she might not even have to deal with suicidal ideation. Suicide is now the 10th leading cause for death in America. According to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, suicide has increased for all age groups since 2001. If you are having suicidal thoughts, reach out to someone. Many people left behind say that they had no idea their loved one was at risk. Ketamine may help you get over the hump and stabilize you so that you can get on with your life. Clean Food...

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Numbness, Dissociation and Feelings

Do you feel asleep at the wheel? Do you miss subtle cues about what’s true or how people feel that other people seem to “just know?” Are you feeling numb, depressed, or just not here? Maybe it’s because you’re numb or dissociated. You can’t have a full, vibrant life if you are not in your body. You can’t feel if you’re not embodied. How would you know if this is you? Numbness Numbness feels like the absence of sensation. You’re in your body, but it’s not really responding to stimulus. Perhaps you’re at your birthday party. All your friends are there. There is great food, music, and company – all the things that would normally make you happy. Yet, you’re not really feeling anything. You’re not even all that interested in being here. That’s...

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What You Think, “I’m Not Supposed to Feel This Way”

Do you ever get surprised by thought “I’m not supposed to feel this way”? Do you think that you’ve outgrown a feeling or have healed and moved on only to be sneak attacked by old frustrations? What’s going on? Let’s take a look at some possibilities. You’re More Self Aware Sometimes being more self aware or less guarded means seeing what you didn’t see before. Perhaps the underlying feelings were always there, they were just covered up by busyness, avoidance, not being completely truthful with yourself, or just not being aware. Now that all that is relaxed, it’s easy to see what was once hidden. If you’re more self aware, great! It’s a fabulous time to finally deal with old issues once and for all. You’re Less Self Aware Sometimes we stop using our...

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