Shame happens when we perceive we have done something wrong and someone else witnesses it. Instead of seeing the behavior is wrong, we believe that we are wrong, bad, defective, unworthy, or don’t deserve love. Unlike guilt, shame requires a witness to exist....
Sometimes I get clients who are really nice people, they seem honest, and really want to feel better, but they just don’t budge. Almost always the underlying reason is toxic shame. They have a deep belief that they are bad, and they don’t deserve to feel...
I’ve never had any client come into my office saying, “I suffer from toxic shame.” In fact, a lot of people don’t know what it is or that it’s a problem. They think of it as something “normal” or “not a big deal.”...
The overwhelming theme for me this week is to pay attention to my expectations. What we expect has so much to do with how we think and feel. Expectations take us out of the Now. When that happens, we can’t enjoy or respond to what is here. So, we end up not living our...
Are you spinning your wheels? Can’t get any traction to move on? Here are five reasons why you’re stuck that can help you get going again. Did You Feel Your Feelings? Sometimes people hit a rough patch and do the stiff upper lip thing. They pretend it...
