emotional crisis

How to Reduce Emotional Crises

A crisis is an event that overwhelms your ability to cope. So, the best way to reduce emotional crises is to increase your baseline level of functioning and increase the number and mastery of your skills. How do you know you are having an emotional crisis? Here are some signs: physical symptoms like headache, crying, […]

unplugged

Get Unplugged

Want to reduce your stress? Get unplugged. Want to reduce your anxiety or depression? Get unplugged. Want better relationships? Get unplugged. Seriously. The modern lifestyle of hustling and stimulation from the time we wake up until we go to sleep feels normal. It’s what we do. Our brains are always going. Our nervous system is always […]

attachment

Don’t Hang Onto Things Beyond Their Usefulness

Health is about balance. If things are flowing at just the right pace, we have balance. If they become stagnant or move too fast, we get out of balance, begin to feel stress, and eventually become dis-eased. One way to keep things from becoming stagnant is to not hang onto things beyond their usefulness. What […]

you are the problem

You Are the Problem. You are the Solution.

Take a look at your life. What’s wrong? Whatever you answer, know that in truth, you are the problem and you are the solution. How you identify the problem is simply how the imbalance shows up in your life. This might sound like a “blame the victim” approach. It’s not. It’s actually empowering. When you […]

parenting

The Job of a Parent is…

The primary job of a parent is to rear healthy, self-sufficent adults. That’s it. I am sure many of you are surprised by that answer. Is it not to love them? Is it not to keep them safe? Those are components of rearing self-sufficient adults, but the primary goal is the same for all animals. […]

pity party

Don’t Go to the Pity Party

A pity party is an indulgent bout of feeling sorry for yourself that is often accompanied by blame, anger, and feelings of helplessness. If you are invited or are tempted to throw your own event, don’t go to the pity party! A pity party is not the same thing as feeling your feelings. Feeling your feeling […]

waste time

How To Waste Time in Therapy

I recently wrote an article about how to get the most out of therapy. It talked about how to prepare and what to do in session. I framed it that way to keep things positive. To have a complete picture of how to make therapy work for you, I realize that you also need to know […]

better

Every Day in Every Way, I am Getting Better and Better

Some of you are familiar with Emile Coue’s famous phrase, “Every day in every way, I am getting better and better.” Coue` was a French psychologist who believed that most of our problems -mental and physical – were a result of our thinking. He came up with this affirmation and had his patients repeat it […]

love hurts

Why Love Hurts

Everything in popular culture tells us that love hurts. This is what we hear in songs. It’s all over romantic comedies. It’s been written about in many famous books. Every wonder why love hurts? Consider the law of duality. It says that everything that exists has an opposite. That is how we make sense of reality. […]

invisible rules

What Are Your Invisible Rules?

People make meaning out of things to help them make sense of the world. We all construct reality different. Our brains take in information and use whatever else is in our memory banks to decide what the information means. This process results in invisible rules. These invisible rules can either help us or hurt us. When […]