I’m Not Supposed to Feel This Way
Do you ever get surprised by thought “I’m not supposed to feel this way”? Do you think that you’ve outgrown a feeling or have healed and moved on only to be sneak attacked by old frustrations? What’s going on? Let’s take a look at some possibilities.
You’re More Self Aware
Sometimes being more self aware or less guarded means seeing what you didn’t see before. Perhaps the underlying feelings were always there, they were just covered up by busyness, avoidance, not being completely truthful with yourself, or just not being aware. Now that all that is relaxed, it’s easy to see what was once hidden. If you’re more self aware, great! It’s a fabulous time to finally deal with old issues once and for all.
You’re Less Self Aware
Sometimes we stop using our skills and are less mindful. Maybe things are going well and we don’t need to think about being skillful. Maybe we just get lazy. This can cause us to go back to old behaviors that create old feelings. For example, when we go home for the holidays, we may feel like we’re in the same dynamics that we lived in as a child. This can make us revert to our childhood ways of being. If we are not careful, our mindful skills will go right out the window.
Everything Is As It Should Be
Sometimes feeling the way that you used to feel just means that you’re engaging in life. We never get to a point where things don’t hurt, we never get angry, or we don’t need a reality check. When we are growing, we move through life in a circle. We feel the same old things, but in different ways or different circumstances. It doesn’t mean something is wrong. It just means we are living. When we are trespassed against, we get angry. If we are afraid, we can cower, fight, or run. When we’re happy, we smile, laugh, and are easy to be around. It’s just what people do.
Perhaps the first thing to do when old feeling arise is to just sit with them. Feel them. Let them speak to you. It could be that nothing else needs to be done. They just want to move through. If it seems that you’ve got some work to do, attack it when you’re ready. Everything is just feedback. Your feelings are just helping you get a sense of where you are and where you need to be to get back in alignment with your center. Cherish them. As long as you are feeling, you’re human! That’s cause to celebrate.