There is one thing you need to make every date a success. It’s not manners, grooming, a hot body, timeliness, nice clothes, or straight teeth. It’s authenticity. Here is how this can help.

You Know Right Away Whether or Not it’s Clicking

If you are focused on authenticity vs. “Does she like me?”, you are going to be more present in your body. So, it’s not about whether someone likes you, but whether it’s a match for both of you.

Your body will tell you if you’re digging the other person. Your body will also tell you if they like you. There is no guessing if you’re present. This is a great time saver. If you eliminate people who are not a great match on the first date, that’s a success! You don’t waste time with people who aren’t what you are looking for or who aren’t into you.

You Start Off With Honesty

Honesty and integrity are components of authenticity. When you display it, there is no game playing. This can make both people more at ease and set the tone for future interactions to be honest, too. So many dates are about trying to make a good impression.

We do this by donning masks and being nice. This can lead to disappointment down the road when you find out that your date doesn’t really like ice hockey or Neil Diamond. If you go into every date with honesty, every date is a success because you’re always getting information that can either draw you in closer or let you know it’s time to let go.

Authentic People are More Attractive

Studies show that people who are not afraid to show their quirks and speak their mind are viewed as more attractive. They are also more likely to find a good match more quickly. Perhaps this is because when we don’t feel safe to be ourselves, we keep things hidden, play games, aren’t all that responsive, and keep the other person on edge.

So things that might exclude us as a matches don’t show up until we’ve invested a lot of time in someone. When you show up as authentic, your date is more likely to reciprocate. This way you never come into a counselors office after the wedding bells have sounded saying, “This is not who I married.”

Being authentic doesn’t guarantee that every date will end in love. It does guarantee that you won’t end up disillusioned because you’re going into it with high self esteem, confidence, and a willingness to let things be as they are. That’s always good for both people. That’s what I call a success.