The man asked an Arab sheik what kind of car he drives, and he replied, “A Mercedes.”
He then asked what kind of car his son drives, he said, “A Land Rover.”
When he asked what type of car his grandson would drive, he said, “A camel. Soft times create soft people. Hard times create strong people.”
If you have ever struggled with a cashier who can’t make change, a customer service agent who can’t answer your question, or a supervisor who can’t write with correct grammar and punctuation, you can see the results of soft times and abundance on our society. Maybe you are even one of the people who have become soft as a result of having too much given to you. Maybe you’re not very resilient.
How does this happen?
Well, we all learn from doing. If the answers are given to me (which is how the school systems are set up. They are not designed to teach people how to think, but what to think), I don’t learn how to think, so making change or thinking conceptually might not be easy.
If I am not given responsibility and don’t have to earn things, I believe that I deserve things and they should be provided to me. We can see signs of this in the abundance of Go Fund Me accounts, overtipping, huge amounts of personal debt, having more stuff than we can use, and driving up prices of cars, homes, and education because we want it at any cost.
When we create social pressure and laws to have people use words that make us comfortable rather than learning to cope with adversity, I don’t learn resilience. I make the environment change rather than taking that responsibility to care for myself. And this is disastrous for happiness, mental health, earning potential, and relationships. So all the things that make life pleasurable are out of my hands without resilience because I have no control.
If I live in a world that judges my worth by external things like my address, where I went to school, and how much money I make, what I wear and what I eat, I learn to look good and make my life about appearances and approval. Studies have shown that happiness comes from relationships. But pretending to look good and be good actually creates barriers to relationships because it’s not authentic.
All of this is about resilience.
How Resilient Are You?
If you’re wondering how much of this applies to you, take this free online quiz to find out. Here’s a second one to validate it. This can help you answer the question, “How resilient are you?”
It’s the goal of every parent to make their child’s life easier than what they had. We all want to set our kids up for success. That means rearing self-sufficient adults. Not only financially self-sufficient, but emotionally and intellectually self-sufficient.
Life is holistic. If you didn’t get what you needed to be emotionally fit and resilient, I can help. I have created a program that’s meant to be a bridge between counseling and self-sufficiency. It’s holistic instruction that can help you to continue towards your goals towards self-improvement and being the best you that you can be.
The ideal candidate is someone who:
- is a self-starter. You have to come to the table. It won’t come to you.
- is open-minded. This isn’t your typical type of program at all. It may not click that change is happening for a while.
- practices. This is about building new skills and attitudes. Doing something once is an experience. To embody it, you have to practice.
- is patient. It took time to create the person you are now. It will take time to uncover and dislodge the things that aren’t working and create new ways of being.
- participates. You will get more out of it if you share your process with the group who is in this with you.
- is interested in getting to the root cause and not just treating symptoms. Anyone can feel better for a little while. This will give you a whole new life.
- is diligent. You have to do the work. When things begin to shift, you will be able to take full credit for it – which is the point. You will have a sense of your own power.
- likes to play. I have a lot of perfectionistic clients who won’t do something if there is a chance to fail. The only way to fail is to not participate. This is easy!
Ready to check it out? Here you go!