Aren’t fairy tale romances so sweet! Who doesn’t want to be love bombed, struck with the certainty that this is “the one” and live happily ever after?
Unfortunately, that’s not how life works. And when we use that as our template for what a fulfilling relationship looks like, when the disillusionment hits, that’s when the relationship tends to end.
Don’t give up before success happens! Disillusionment is the beginning of love.
Say what?
Yes. Think about the word. Disillusion means to free from illusion. That space after the honeymoon phase is real life. It’s what you really look like when you have bills to pay, obligations to meet, and aren’t in Prince Charming mode. Prince Charming is not sustainable and not real. It’s easy to love that guy, but what about the real you?
If you are still interested in each other when the honeymoon ends, you have a chance at having a meaningful relationship.
Real people are flawed, quirky, have baggage, get sick, have blind spots, make mistakes, and can be really silly. Humans are also miraculous, funny, strong, diligent, courageous, creative, and adventurous. We’re multifaceted. That blend of light and dark is what makes each of us unique. We can’t have the desirable without also having the undesirable.
So, there will be times (most of the time actually) when you get beyond the honeymoon stage and say, “Whoa, that reality is just not working out for me.” Most people are not people we can’t live without. Our quirks have to work with their quirks. But if you pass on everyone who is not perfect or Prince Charming, you’ll search your entire life for love. Love is natural and nature is whole.
So expect it. The honeymoon isn’t the end or the baseline of what the rest of your relationship will be like. Disillusionment is the beginning of love. Let it test you. Let it test your relationship, and see if you have what it takes to become real.