trauma - Laura Giles, LCSW

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trauma Tag

Healing the Shame of Abuse

Posted on April 16, 2023

in coping, emotions, trauma

by Laura

1 Comment

When it comes to healing the shame of abuse, the biggest hurdle is breaking through the idea that the abuse is somehow our fault. The experiencer seems to feel that they should have, and could have, prevented it. If they hadn't done this, or had done that, it wouldn't have happened. So, the abuse must be their fault. In this article, I will give you lots of ways to think about abuse in a different way. I hope that this will help you to begin healing the shame of abuse. Know That It's Not Your Fault The first thing to know is that the abuse is not your fault. Everyone is responsible for their own actions. A naked woman lying in the street is not an invitation to rape. Leaving your keys in...

Mental Illness Isn’t a Personal Issue. It’s a Social One.

Posted on April 10, 2023

in coping

by Laura

0 Comments

It's funny. When someone becomes anxious or depressed, we want them to go to a counselor to sort themselves out. It's their problem. Only mental illness isn't a personal issue. It's a social one. In some cases, this means that the person who is labeled "mentally ill" is having a completely rational response to an irrational situation. For example, let's say a child has to tip toe around in the morning to get a shower and breakfast because he knows that waking dad up could mean getting screamed at or hit. When that same child beats someone else up at school or sprays graffiti on a bridge, it could be his way of acting out his anger, crying for help, or trying to have some control over his life. If...

What To Do When Counseling Doesn’t Help

Posted on March 21, 2023

in trauma

by Laura

0 Comments

Are you a long time counseling client who hasn't really changed your life a whole lot? Maybe you still go because you don't know what else to do. In this article, I'll review some ideas about what to do when counseling doesn't help. See a Holistic Medical Professional Some physical issues manifest as emotional or behavioral ones. For example, some symptoms of thyroid dysfunction are fatigue, weight gain, depression, menstrual issues, and memory issues. Some symptoms of Cannabis Hyperemesis Syndrome (CHS) are nausea (particularly in the morning), vomiting, abdominal pain which could be confused with anxiety. Head trauma can look like mental illness. I wouldn't assume that emotional symptoms have emotional causes or that physical symptoms have physical causes. We are holistic beings. What's a "holistic medical professional?" An acupuncturist, functional medicine...

What’s My Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) Score?

Posted on December 10, 2022

in coping, emotions, trauma

by Laura

0 Comments

The Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) score is based upon the answers to ten questions focused around childhood experiences. The assessment shows a relationship between traumatic childhood events and physical, social and emotional problems later in adulthood. This includes heart disease, diabetes, lung cancer, many autoimmune conditions, depression, violence, obesity, being a victim of domestic violence, as well as suicide. Additionally there are social risks such as higher rates of addiction, sexually transmitted diseases, multiple sexual partners, lack of health insurance, unemployment, less than a high school diploma, and lower income levels. A score of 4 or higher indicates a serious risk. While you can't change your past, you can take steps now to heal and to prevent another generation from enduring the same type of challenges that you had. Take the ACE Test Answer yes...

How to Heal Toxic Shame

Posted on February 19, 2021

in coping, emotions, problem solving

by Laura

0 Comments

Shame happens when we perceive we have done something wrong and someone else witnesses it. Instead of seeing the behavior is wrong, we believe that we are wrong, bad, defective, unworthy, or don't deserve love. Unlike guilt, shame requires a witness to exist. For example, if I believe that stealing is wrong and take something that doesn't belong to me, I will feel guilty. I won't feel shame unless and until someone knows I've stolen. Toxic shame puts us in shadow. We forget, if we ever knew, that we're creative, brilliant, worthy, amazing, daring, trustworthy, good, sexy people. Nothing can convince us otherwise because when we look out into the world, all we see is proof of our depravity. Stop the Crisis The first step to healing from anything is to...

What Causes Toxic Shame?

Posted on February 18, 2021

in coping, emotions, trauma

by Laura

0 Comments

Sometimes I get clients who are really nice people, they seem honest, and really want to feel better, but they just don't budge. Almost always the underlying reason is toxic shame. They have a deep belief that they are bad, and they don't deserve to feel any better. That's utter nonsense, but thoughts are reality. And until they believe it, they can remain stuck. Everyone has a beautiful light inside. Sometimes we let poor choices overshadow it and we forget to let it shine. Or sometimes we grow up in invalidating environments and the people around us throw so much shade that we don't learn that it's there. Whatever the reason, we don't have to live with it. Every day is a new opportunity to have a different life. We just...

Is Resting Bitch Face (RBF) a Real Thing?

Posted on June 15, 2020

in coping, emotions, trauma

by Laura

0 Comments

Do you have resting bitch face (RBF)? Don’t know what that is? Here are some symptoms: people frequently ask you to smile morepeople think you’re angry or sad even when you’re notyour friends tell you that when they first saw you, they thought you were a bitchpictures of your face never look the way you feelpeople often ask what’s wrongwhen people get to know you, they remark about how pleasantly surprised they are to find you’re actually nicepeople avoid you “Resting” means that the face looks this way when the person is unprovoked. It’s an every day look. “Bitch” refers to the unapproachable, hostile interpretation of the facial expression. It can also be perceived as contemptuous or annoyed. Either way, it is not warm and welcoming. The overall effect is that viewers are...

Overlooked Causes of Trauma

Posted on May 31, 2020

in trauma

by Laura

0 Comments

Most people understand that child abuse, domestic violence, sexual abuse, and serving in combat can lead to trauma. Unfortunately, there are many other things causes of trauma that are overlooked. Because they aren’t generally associated with trauma, people can try to live with it. Without treatment, they can cause unnecessary pain for a long time. Let’s take a look at what they are. Medical Treatment We think of doctor’s offices, dentist visits, and hospitals as places we go to for help. However, a common element with traumatic incidents is feeling a loss of control. When health care workers treat us like bodies, aren’t compassionate, don’t tell us what’s going on, take on the expert role, and we can’t do anything about it, this can result in trauma. Fear + the unknown +...