trauma - Laura Giles, LCSW
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trauma Tag

Adverse childhood experiences

What’s My Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) Score?

Posted on December 10, 2022
in coping, emotions, trauma
by Laura
0 Comments

The Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) score is based upon the answers to ten questions focused around childhood experiences. The assessment shows a relationship between traumatic childhood events and physical, social and emotional problems later in adulthood. This includes heart disease, diabetes, lung cancer, many autoimmune conditions, depression, violence, obesity, being a victim of domestic violence, as well as suicide. Additionally there are social risks such as higher rates of addiction, sexually transmitted diseases, multiple sexual partners, lack of health insurance, unemployment, less than a high school diploma, and lower income levels. A score of 4 or higher indicates a serious risk. While you can't change your past, you can take steps now to heal and to prevent another generation from enduring the same type of challenges that you had. Take the ACE Test Answer yes...

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healing toxic shame

How to Heal Toxic Shame

Posted on February 19, 2021
in coping, emotions, problem solving
by Laura
0 Comments

Shame happens when we perceive we have done something wrong and someone else witnesses it. Instead of seeing the behavior is wrong, we believe that we are wrong, bad, defective, unworthy, or don't deserve love. Unlike guilt, shame requires a witness to exist. For example, if I believe that stealing is wrong and take something that doesn't belong to me, I will feel guilty. I won't feel shame unless and until someone knows I've stolen. Toxic shame puts us in shadow. We forget, if we ever knew, that we're creative, brilliant, worthy, amazing, daring, trustworthy, good, sexy people. Nothing can convince us otherwise because when we look out into the world, all we see is proof of our depravity. Stop the Crisis The first step to healing from anything is to...

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what causes toxic shame

What Causes Toxic Shame?

Posted on February 18, 2021
in coping, emotions, trauma
by Laura
1 Comment

Sometimes I get clients who are really nice people, they seem honest, and really want to feel better, but they just don't budge. Almost always the underlying reason is toxic shame. They have a deep belief that they are bad, and they don't deserve to feel any better. That's utter nonsense, but thoughts are reality. And until they believe it, they can remain stuck. Everyone has a beautiful light inside. Sometimes we let poor choices overshadow it and we forget to let it shine. Or sometimes we grow up in invalidating environments and the people around us throw so much shade that we don't learn that it's there. Whatever the reason, we don't have to live with it. Every day is a new opportunity to have a different life. We just...

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resting bitch face

Is Resting Bitch Face (RBF) a Real Thing?

Posted on June 15, 2020
in coping, emotions, trauma
by Laura
0 Comments

Do you have resting bitch face (RBF)? Don’t know what that is? Here are some symptoms:  people frequently ask you to smile morepeople think you’re angry or sad even when you’re notyour friends tell you that when they first saw you, they thought you were a bitchpictures of your face never look the way you feelpeople often ask what’s wrongwhen people get to know you, they remark about how pleasantly surprised they are to find you’re actually nicepeople avoid you “Resting” means that the face looks this way when the person is unprovoked. It’s an every day look. “Bitch” refers to the unapproachable, hostile interpretation of the facial expression. It can also be perceived as contemptuous or annoyed. Either way, it is not warm and welcoming. The overall effect is that viewers are...

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causes of trauma

Overlooked Causes of Trauma

Posted on May 31, 2020
in trauma
by Laura
0 Comments

Most people understand that child abuse, domestic violence, sexual abuse, and serving in combat can lead to trauma. Unfortunately, there are many other things causes of trauma that are overlooked. Because they aren’t generally associated with trauma, people can try to live with it. Without treatment, they can cause unnecessary pain for a long time. Let’s take a look at what they are. Medical Treatment We think of doctor’s offices, dentist visits, and hospitals as places we go to for help. However, a common element with traumatic incidents is feeling a loss of control. When health care workers treat us like bodies, aren’t compassionate, don’t tell us what’s going on, take on the expert role, and we can’t do anything about it, this can result in trauma. Fear + the unknown +...

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