I get to

“I Have to” vs. “I Get To”

If you want to make one simple change that can alter the way you move through life, change “I have to” to “I get to.” Stress is caused by trying, feeling put upon, hurrying, and a lack of choice. When you have to do things, you can go through life feeling like a beast of […]

I didn't sign up for this

“I Didn’t Sign Up For This!”

There may be times in our lives when we throw up our hands and say, “I didn’t sign on for this!” It’s normal to have a pity party when things don’t go as planned. When the pouting is done, there are three things you can do. Deal with it anyway, walk away, or blame and […]

mindset

Argue For Your Limitations and They Are Yours

Have you ever said, “I can’t because…” the economy is bad my boss doesn’t like me my parents were mentally ill I’m too (insert adjective such as short, tall, young, old, etc). my mom didn’t love me my dad was an alcoholic I’m not (insert adjective like good, smart, worthy, or clever) enough “Argue for […]

you saw me

“You Saw Me!”

One day I was in conversation with someone who suddenly burst out crying and said, “You saw me!” In that moment it touched me how infrequently that happens. I was also struck by how important it is to be seen. How often do we give that to others? How often do we allow others to […]

couples therapy

When Couple’s Counseling is Not Advisable

As a therapist, I am a huge fan of couple’s counseling. It can help you to grow emotionally, become more effective at work and in relationships, and be happier. There are times when it’s not a great idea however. Therapy is about making repairs and positive changes. Sometimes that is not possible.¬†Here is a look […]

self help

What To Do When You Can’t Afford Counseling

Professional counselors definitely have their role in health and wellness. They give you support, teach skills, give you motivation and encouragement to keep going, provide interventions that improve functioning, and challenge you to move beyond your present level of functioning. But what can you do when you can’t afford counseling? The American Holistic Health Association […]

therapy

How to Get the Most Out of Therapy

Here are some quick tips on how to get most out of therapy. Shop Around Finding someone with the right fit is very important. Maybe you are more comfortable¬†with someone of a specific gender, age range, or who has a specific skill set. Or maybe you just need to talk to the person first to […]