When you are not doing well, it’s common to ask someone with expertise in one area or another for help. If you want to be well, you can’t just show up and expect someone to do something to you and then walk away feeling better. You have a part to play. You have to learn something new and do something different. Why? Because
“You can’t heal the body with the same thinking that made it sick.” ~Mary Burmeister
Your life is a reflection of your physical environment, exercise routine, diet, sleep patterns, social interactions, relaxation, spirituality, and thinking. If you have sleep problems and take a sleeping pill, that will allow you to go to sleep, but it won’t touch the cause. So, your body will either continue to deteriorate or your symptoms will show up somewhere else. If your mind is always racing, you can say that it’s normal and ignore it, take a pill, get acupuncture, or many other things to bring you back into alignment. Whatever you do will be temporary because the cause is still active – your thinking.
Here’s why. Everything starts with a thought. Your thoughts generate your emotions. Your emotions lead to behaviors. So, if I am thinking, “I am not good enough.” That might make me feel sad. That could lead me to soothing my sadness with food, so I eat. Consequently, I am overweight. That makes me think I am not good enough and the whole cycle starts all over again.
Now, if I get liposuction or laproscopy that will take care of the cosmetic issue, but it won’t change my body chemistry. My cortisol levels, blood sugar, and mind all stay the same. My low self-esteem is also still the same. So the energy that created the problem is still there. I will either gain the weight back or it will show up in other ways.
Many times thought patterns that generate dysfunctional behavior or energy is hidden. You may have a unconscious belief of “I am not worthy” or “I am stupid” that you don’t recognize because all your memories are affirming ones. Yet your behavior shows that you are sabotaging yourself in some way. This is common.
We can be “hypnotized” (so to speak) instantaneously from one forgettable incident as easily as we can from a lifetime of repetition. If you had a instance where a parent was out of control for a moment, and said something damaging, that’s enough to plant that seed in your unconscious mind that you are invisible, worthless, or a trouble maker. You might not even remember the incident. Or if you do, you might think it’s inconsequential because of all the other interactions that show those things aren’t true. Still, you feel the way you feel. And your behavior still reflects that inner programming.
When you are in utero, you are not completely separate from your mother. Her thoughts and your thoughts are the same. If she is fearful of giving birth, that experience might give you the programming, “I hurt people.” This may cause you to shrink from forming relationships or take responsibility for pleasing people. Who knows?
If you have complex problems, you probably have layers upon layers of maladaptive thoughts. Maladaptive thoughts are anything that doesn’t affirm you. Those thoughts damage your physical and emotional health. If you want to live optimally, erase and replace that programming with something that promotes health and well being. As each one comes away, you will notice that you will have different ideas about self care, love, and how you live your life. Your way of being in the world becomes more productive, mindful, and happy. It has to because your outside is a reflection of your inside.
If you are conscious of the thoughts that are creating problems in your life, change your thoughts. That will lead to a change in your emotions and behavior. If you don’t know where it all started, change your lifestyle. Eat better. Move your body. Give yourself proper rest, meaning sleep for the body and meditation for the mind. This starts at the end of the “thought – emotion – behavior” chain, but can result in positive changes anyway.
If you are still not getting the results you want, consider getting professional help. Counseling can help with changing thoughts and behaviors. Hypnosis is one way to release maladaptive programming. Neurolinguistic programming, energy psychology, somatic experiencing, mindfulness, and EMDR are others. There are many effective interventions. Nobody has to stay stuck. If you change your thoughts, you will change your life.