defensiveness

Why Defensiveness is a Relationship Destroyer

If someone says something that we perceive as “You’re bad,” we generally respond in one of two ways: You’re even worse (attack). No, I’m not! (defense) Both of these are relationship destroyers. Most of us know that attacking leads to fighting and away from connection. In this article, I will discuss why defensiveness is a relationship […]

early warning signs

Early Warning Signs of Abusive Relationships

It’s a lot easier to not get into an abusive relationship than to get out once it’s started. Since abusive relationships don’t usually start out bad, it’s good to know the early warning signs to avoid getting deeply entangled. Let’s take a look at some of the common signs. Love Bombing If the relationship starts […]

after the affair

What to Do After An Affair

So, there’s been an affair. You want to repair your relationship, and you want to know what to do after an affair to make things better. Read on! First, a definition. “Affair” means that there has been a relationship outside of the primary relationship without the knowledge and consent of the other partner. It can […]

I get to

“I Have to” vs. “I Get To”

If you want to make one simple change that can alter the way you move through life, change “I have to” to “I get to.” Stress is caused by trying, feeling put upon, hurrying, and a lack of choice. When you have to do things, you can go through life feeling like a beast of […]

why do I have to meditate

Why Do I Have to Meditate Every Day?

Have you ever thought, “Why do I have to meditate every day?” Does it feel like work sometimes? Self care can be hard to maintain if you look at is as a chore. Let’s see if we can turn it into something that you feel enthusiastic about doing instead. Maybe then it will become something […]

what's love got to do with it

What’s Love Got to Do With It?

Jane Austen was the queen of “What’s love got to do with it?” Perhaps that is why her stories still resonate a hundred years after they were written. Let’s take a look. There is no doubt that Mariane Dashwood and John Willoughby love each other. Love was not enough to make him stay with her. […]

I didn't sign up for this

“I Didn’t Sign Up For This!”

There may be times in our lives when we throw up our hands and say, “I didn’t sign on for this!” It’s normal to have a pity party when things don’t go as planned. When the pouting is done, there are three things you can do. Deal with it anyway, walk away, or blame and […]

vulnerable to an affair

Are You Vulnerable to an Affair?

Are you vulnerable to an affair? Any relationship can suffer from infidelity, but there are some factors that make cheating more likely. Let’s take a look at what they are. Marriage vs. Cohabitating Did you know that a study by Pepper Schwartz and Philip Blumstein showed that long term married people are less likely to […]

mindset

Argue For Your Limitations and They Are Yours

Have you ever said, “I can’t because…” the economy is bad my boss doesn’t like me my parents were mentally ill I’m too (insert adjective such as short, tall, young, old, etc). my mom didn’t love me my dad was an alcoholic I’m not (insert adjective like good, smart, worthy, or clever) enough “Argue for […]