2021 December
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December 2021

How Nice is “Too Nice?”

Most of us were brought up to be nice. It makes relationships easier and living more hospitable, but where do you draw the line? How nice is too nice? What's "Nice?" Before we talk about how nice is too nice, let's define what it means to be nice. Nice is being pleasing, agreeable, friendly, polite, and kind. These are all things that we want, right? What could be bad about that? When we are too nice, it comes at a cost to ourselves. We teach people how to treat us, and when we put ourselves last, we show others that that is where we stand. That's where we are most comfortable. So we get more of that and don't get our own needs met. What "Too Nice" Looks Like: You over give of your...

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be a participant

Be a Participant In Your Life

Some people observe life. Some live life as an object and let life act upon them. Others participate. If you want to live fully, be a participant in your life. Observers Observing is a great skill! It helps you to take in data so that you know what's going on around you so you can act effectively. However, if you never get in the game, you're not living. You're watching life happen around you. Everything is vicarious. This can keep you safe because you never get your feelings hurt, and you get to sit back and talk about what could have, should have, would have. This is not a substitute for experience. Life is meant to be experienced. A life without experience is no life at all. You might as well watch a...

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It's a wonderful life

It’s a Wonderful (Codependent) Life

Who doesn't love movie therapy? It's the Christmas season. It's a Wonderful Life is one of my favorite movies. It gets me all teary eyed every time I watch it. AND it's a great illustration of what codependency looks like. Want to learn? Come on! If you're not familiar with the story, our hero is George Bailey, a stand-up, down to earth guy who wants to be an explorer. He does all the right things in life, but ends up in a situation where he's contemplating suicide. In order for his guardian angel to get his wings, he has to do a good deed. So he goes to earth to persuade George to change his mind by showing him that he actually has had a great life. Got it? Okay, now...

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