October, 2020 - Laura Giles, LCSW
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October 2020

how to tell if you're projecting

How to Tell If You’re Projecting Your Stuff Onto Someone Else

Posted on October 28, 2020
in coping, emotions, problem solving, relationship
by Laura
0 Comments

Projection is putting our thoughts, feelings, or fears on to someone else. It's what we do when we are in Shadow. We do it because we're uncomfortable with something within us. We want to get rid of that thing, so we give it to something outside of ourselves. If we want to be healthier people, it's good to know how to tell if you're projecting yourself onto someone else. Before I talk about that though, let's look at some examples of projecting so that we can spot it. Examples of Projections I am attracted to someone I think it out of my league so I talk badly about him. (I'm projecting my fear of not being good enough).I am attracted to someone who doesn't appear to be attracted to me, so I...

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how to nurture and sustain love

How to Nurture and Sustain Love

Posted on October 18, 2020
in relationship
by Laura
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Everybody wants and needs love, but if you didn't grow up with healthy examples of it, you may not know how to nurture and sustain love. Even if you did, you may be puzzled as to why the one you love doesn't love you back. Keep reading for insight into how it all works. The Love Bank To understand how to nurture and sustain love, you first need to grasp the concept of the Love Bank. I first heard about this from Dr. Willard Harley. Everything we do is either making deposits or withdrawals from our partner's love bank. When we do things that make him feel closer to us, more at ease, more happy, we create a deposit. When we do things that create distance, anger, inconvenience, sadness, doubt, and things...

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feeling frail

How to Cope When You’re Feeling Fragile

Posted on October 13, 2020
in emotions, problem solving
by Laura
0 Comments

Everybody hits a wall sometimes. It's that feeling you get when you need something or someone to hold on to. You feel that you're out of gas and don't have one more smile, conversation, or "atta girl" left in you. Maybe you don't know what to do. Maybe you do, but you just don't have the energy to do it. Before we talk about what to do when you're feeling fragile, let's first look at what might cause this. What Leads to Feeling Fragile? Here are some common things that can lead to feeling fragile. death breakups of friendships or relationships or fear of lossmoving away from what's known, comfortable, and connectedsocial distancing or isolationhealing from traumaspiritual breakthroughsfeelings of loneliness, fear, guilt, jealousy, or shamejudgments of being unworthy, bad, unlovable, being sick, physically...

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ways to lose trust

Top 3 Ways to Destroy Trust

Posted on October 12, 2020
in coping, problem solving, relationship
by Laura
0 Comments

Healthy relationships thrive in an environment of trust. Whether we're talking about parent/child, teacher/student, neighbors or lovers, we all feel better and more connected where there is trust. Unfortunately, we may have learned behaviors that destroy love and don't even know it. Or maybe we were hurt in the past and adopted coping strategies to keep us safe. That safety comes at a cost of weak boundaries or weak trust. Could this be you? Keep reading the Top 3 Ways to Lose Trust and see! Be Inconsistent Have you ever met someone who does what he says he will only sometimes? Or he is playful and fun sometimes, then is grouchy and unapproachable the next day? Or maybe he is all in favor of a "great idea" one day and then second...

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when abuse looks like love

Seven Abusive Behaviors That Look Like Love

Posted on October 4, 2020
in relationship
by Laura
0 Comments

I am surprised by how many people are in abusive relationships and don't know it. If you grew up in a household where the line between love and abuse was blurry, you might learn that that is what love looks like. So you either love that way or accept love that is offered in that way. Want a healthier relationship? Then you have to be able to spot abusive behaviors that look like love. Here are a seven abusive behaviors that look like love. Unwanted Sexual Contact Some partners think that sex is a way to show how much you love each other. They can feel entitled to sex when, where, and how they want it. Any type of touching that is not consensual is abuse. Healthy boundaries means that all touch...

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