Tips for Handling Invalidating Comments

If you’re in an environment of disrespect, it can make it really hard for you to function. This is really stressful. There are some thing you can do to make it easier. Here are some tips for handling invalidating comments. Give responses that: reflect YOUR thoughts, feeling, and needs show respect – both self-respect and […]

How to Ask Fantastic Questions

If you want to be a great communicator, you have to ask fantastic questions. Great teachers, coaches, therapists, and parents are great because they ask great questions. If you want to grow quickly or have fulfilling relationships, you have to ask fantastic questions. This works in reverse as well. If you are not getting the […]

Why Won’t You Talk to Me?

Do you ever want to shake someone and say, “Why won’t you talk to me?” Do you have to repeat yourself? Have you ever wished that your partner, family member, or friend would just pay more attention? This might be one of those times when it’s appropriate to say, “It’s not you. It’s me.” Hear […]

Feedback is Your Greatest Teacher

Before I was a therapist, I was a dancer and dance teacher. It was through that experience that I learned that feedback is your greatest teacher. When my students and I embarked on our first competition experience, only one of them made it to the podium. Despite the lack of trophies, what we took away was […]

Don’t Be a Yes, But-ter…

Are you a yes, but -ter? What is a yes, but?  Yes, but-ting is when you agree with what is being said, then shoot it down. Here are some examples: I know I need to exercise. I just don’t have time. Of course upgrading my job skills would be great, but I don’t have the […]

How To Say What You Need to Say

There are lots of reasons why some people don’t know how to say what they need to say. Sometimes it comes from fear of rejection. Sometimes it is about not knowing what to say. Sometimes it’s fear that the words will be misconstrued and things will be even worse. Staying silent almost always comes down […]

How to Stop Complaining and Criticizing

Have you ever been around someone who complains or criticizes constantly? It’s a downer, isn’t it? Negative words vibrate with low energy. This brings you and everyone around you down. People don’t want to feel down, so they may move away from you to get away from the complaining. If you complain about them, it can […]

Three Words to Create Intimacy

Loneliness has always existed, but the technological age has made it epidemic. We don’t sit down to dinner as a family anymore. We don’t sit on the front stoop and talk to our neighbors. We don’t small talk with passersby. We text. We email. We even text when we’re sitting in the same room with […]