Do other people wreck your day? Do you feel like if other people just got their stuff together, you would be fine? Is your day fine until you get around other people? If this sounds like you, this article is for you. Here is how to stop letting others wreck your day.
It’s Not About You
The world doesn’t revolve around you. Other people have deadlines, desires, thoughts, ways of doing things, and beliefs that may not coincide with yours. They may even conflict with yours. This doesn’t mean either side is wrong or bad. It doesn’t mean that these things exist to intentionally ruin your day. They just are. When you accept that what happens is not about you, it can make it easier to deal with. Things aren’t usually directed at you. They aren’t meant to challenge you or upset you. Stuff just happens.
Since the world exists beyond you, you might want to plan for that. If you need a favor from someone, think about the impact that granting that favor will have on them. What will it cost in terms of money, time, or stress? If it’s expensive or inconvenient, do you really want to ask for that? Is that the best way to build a relationship?
Relationships are reciprocal. We tend to get what we give. So, if someone is asking too much, you don’t have to say yes. Conversely, if you are have a lot of needs, be aware of what you are asking for and don’t be upset if the answer is no. People have a right to set boundaries. Nobody owes you anything. If you accept that going into a favor, it never becomes an obligation. Then there is nothing to be upset about.
When It’s Over, Let it Be Over
Some people live on drama. It gives them fuel to feel alive. The problem with this is that it costs them peace of mind. If someone makes a mistake that creates an inconvenience for you, that inconvenience may last a few minutes. If you continue to talk about it for days, it’s now cost you days of lost peace of mind. You could just let it go and minimize the cost.
Judging is the easiest way to let an incident become an event. We always tell ourselves stories about people and events. Judging is when we make those stories unfavorable. Let them be neutral. You have total control over the way you see things. So take control. The inner and outer world is a lot smoother when stuff is just stuff.
Choose Being Happy Over Being Right
There is right and wrong. There is black and white. But sometimes fighting for that isn’t worth it. There is a saying, “Do you want to be happy or do you want to be right?” Choosing to be happy means that you’re willing to give up bragging rights of “I told you so” in favor of peace. In the big scheme of things, there are things that matter and things that don’t. If you are not sure where your issue lies, ask yourself if today were the last day of your life, would this be important? If it’s not, let go of the need to be right.
Take a “Not My Circus Not My Monkeys” Attitude
You know, you don’t have to champion every battle that comes along. Right now there are a million big and small things wrong in the world. There are things you can do something about and things you can’t. I you feel inclined to step up, do what you can, when you can and let go of the rest. The things that you have no power over, just let them come into your consciousness and then leave. Why? “Not my circus, not my monkeys.”
Assume Your Power
When you give others the power to wreck your day, what’s happening is that you’re blaming. This is an avoidance of power. When you decide to be happy, take a nonjudgmental stance, walk away, set boundaries, or let go, you assume power. This can make you feel like you’re doing something (because you are), and can release feelings of being a victim. Life is so much easier and less stressful when you assume your power. Try it. You may become wildly addictive to how strong you feel. That could be the beginning of a beautiful future.