Be Willing to Be Wrong

We live in a culture that is obsessed with winning. Being number one is a high pressure game. Who remembers who got the silver medal? It’s either win or die! But what if you were willing to be second? What would happen if you were willing to be wrong? Actually a whole lot of good […]

Why You’re Failing at the Law of Attraction

Most of us have heard about the Law of Attraction which is the universal law that says our thoughts create our reality. So, we get clear on what we want, give gratitude for it, and act as if it’s already here. And we manifest some things, but not others. So why are you failing at […]

Be Flexible

Being fixated on an outcome is often applauded in our culture. We call it tenacity, being strong, being focused or maybe driven. When things don’t go according to plan, we can blame ourselves. We may say that we weren’t clear enough in our intention, didn’t work hard enough, or weren’t in alignment with our desire. […]

The Six Facets of Connection

There are many ways to feel a connection with someone. We live in a culture where we can think that feeling a spark means that romantic feelings or sex is the natural next step. Attraction doesn’t have to be sexual. Before you go down that road, you might want to explore the six facets of […]

Why Won’t You Talk to Me?

Do you ever want to shake someone and say, “Why won’t you talk to me?” Do you have to repeat yourself? Have you ever wished that your partner, family member, or friend would just pay more attention? This might be one of those times when it’s appropriate to say, “It’s not you. It’s me.” Hear […]

Help! I Can’t Get or Keep a Relationship!

Do you have trouble forming close relationships? If so, this is almost always because you either have a wall around you or you’re trying to have a relationship with someone who has wall (or both). What’s a person with a wall look like? says he wants intimacy, but avoids intimacy and close relationships has few […]

Do’s and Don’ts for Handling Tears

One of the first things we do in life is cry. As babies, we do it a lot. We’re all really good at it, then we do it less and less. Part of the reason is because we have less to cry about. We can walk without falling. We can get our own food. But there is […]

Safeguarding Your Privacy

I am a privacy freak. I think everyone has the right to determine who knows what about them. You should have the power to control what, when, if, and how information about you is shared. When you come into my office, that’s what you get. I have, and have had, a lot of clients who […]

If You’re Stuck, Try What’s Behind Door Number Three

When we are stuck, we can almost always see two options. The first is the “obvious” one that involves change. The second is doing what we’ve always done. For some reason change isn’t appealing. Usually it involves a compromise with some gains and some losses, and the losses are more than we really want to […]

Arousal, Orgasm, and Rape

Psst! I have a confession to make that I think everyone needs to hear. I am really embarrassed to admit that I worked as a domestic violence advocate and rape crisis counselor for a while without knowing that a rape survivor could experience arousal and orgasm. Yep! That was shamefully left out of my training. […]