Mental Health Begins Before Birth

Mental health begins before birth. It’s true. Think of it like gardening. You can’t plant seeds in infertile soil and expect them to grow, right? Gardeners know that soil preparation is very important if you want a good harvest. Growing humans is the same. The time to prepare is well before any seeds are planted. […]

PTSD is Not Just For the Military

When you know something for a while, you can think that it is common knowledge. That’s why I was surprised when I heard someone say that she thought that Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) was something that only soldiers have. No! PTSD is not just for the military. It’s not just for men. PTSD can […]

Keyed Up? Maybe You Need to Play

From the time we are very small children, we are taught to avoid imagination, work hard, get serious, learn, and “act their age.” Even dix year olds spend about eight hours in school! That’s a lot of time growing your brain. That takes away from growing your heart and gut/intuition. That can keep us from […]

How Do You Stay Safe?

We all have ways of staying safe. They are our go to strategies for keeping life from spiraling out of control. Sometimes we make them ways of living. Sometimes we reach for them under stress. Some strategies are more adaptive than others because they help us and others around us. Some strategies are good for […]

Death is Part of Life

Does anyone else ever marvel at how unnatural our lives have become? For example, we send women off to germ filled hospitals to have babies. Up until the 1950s, most births were home births. Now all of sudden birth has become a medical issue. And what about sex? It’s something that our kids find out […]

“But He Never Hit Me”

“…but he never hit me” Those are the words that many *women say when confronted with the idea that they are in an abusive relationship. Abuse doesn’t have to be physical. In fact, a lot of physical abuse is dismissed because it doesn’t result in blood or broken bones. Touching in anger of any sort […]

Two Ways to Love

There are two ways to love: conditionally and unconditionally. Conditional love is not really love. Love doesn’t hurt. It doesn’t demand. It’s peaceful. It sustains. When people say love hurts, they aren’t talking about love. They are talking about something else – quite possibly conditional love. We know conditional love because the good, positive, affirming […]

Feedback is Your Greatest Teacher

Before I was a therapist, I was a dancer and dance teacher. It was through that experience that I learned that feedback┬áis your greatest teacher. When my students and I embarked on our first competition experience, only one of them made it to the podium. Despite the lack of trophies, what we took away was […]

The Magic of the Gratitude Letter

When I was in high school, matriculated students would routinely come to my choir class to visit with the teacher. It was easy to see that he was the kind of person who made an impact on people’s lives. He often sought out the kids who didn’t have good grades, might have problematic home lives, […]

Why You Hate What Initially Attracted You To Your Partner

Have you ever been in a relationship where you met someone whom you thought was so cool. You really loved something about him or her and then later it was the thing that you caused the worst problems? Ever wonder why you hate what initially attracted you to your partner? Here are some examples of […]