What is Cuddle Party RVA?
Cuddle Party RVA is a Richmond, VA based fun and playful non-sexual, nurturing touch workshop in which you can practice communication and boundary setting. It can help to enhance all of your relationships and allow you to learn even more about yourself. It is for adults who come dressed in pj’s or other comfy clothes, and in the hours we have together, you can practice saying yes to what you want, no to what you don’t want and be open to changing your mind, make friends, create community, expand your horizons, allow yourself the freedom to do something outside your scope of experience. Some people love it so much, that they attend again and again. Join us and find out why!
What to Know Before The Cuddle Party
- Please arrive on time. Doors close fifteen minutes after the official start time so we can create safe space to begin. Once the Welcome Circle begins, we will not admit anyone.
- If you smoke, please do not do so prior to the Cuddle Party. This is a smoke-free zone.
- Please bring a blanket to help make the floor extra comfy and cozy.
- Feel free to bring snacks to share.
- This is a substance free event; no drugs or alcohol.Please also do not come under the influence.
- Bring your open heart and open arms.
- Bring your jammies! Think flannel, not lace. Think comfy, not sexy. Sweats are fine. Shorts and tank tops are not.
- This is a substance free zone. Anyone who appears to be impaired will not be permitted.
- Arriving in clean clothes and no strong odors (garlic, perfumes, etc.) will give you the best chance of finding a cuddle partner.
Guidelines During the Cuddle Party Rules
- Pajamas stay on the whole time.
- You don’t have to cuddle anyone you don’t want to.
- Ask permission and get a verbal yes before touching anyone.
- When you’re a yes to a request, say YES. If you’re a no, say NO.
- If you’re a maybe, say NO.
- You are encouraged to change your mind.
- Respect your relationship agreements and communicate with your partner.
- No touching in private areas.
- Come get your facilitator if there is a concern, problem, or if you need assistance with ANYTHING.
- Tears and laughter are both welcome.
- Respect people’s privacy when sharing about Cuddle Parties.
- Keep the cuddle space tidy.
Who Should Come?
• Everybody! Humans need touch to thrive. Safe touch will make you healthier, happier, and improve your mood.
• Those who are working on speaking up for themselves.
• Beginning cuddlers. Don’t be afraid that you won’t know how to cuddle or that it will be “weird.” There is plenty of getting to know you time and instruction beforehand that will help you feel comfortable.
• Singles. This is not a hook up event, so it’s a great way to get real, be yourself, share yourself, and enjoy being with people without being groped, feeling put on the spot, or focusing on the sex question.
• Couples. This is a great activity to do with your loved on that can deepen your communication and enhance your relationship.
• Those who are working on speaking up for themselves.
• Anyone who needs practice establishing healthy boundaries.
• Introverts, extroverts, men, women, straight people, gay people, young people, old people, Christians, atheists, pagans – everyone is welcome.
Frequently Asked Questions
Why pay for cuddling?
You’re not paying for the cuddling! You are paying for the workshop, the safe space, refreshments, the experience, and the facilitator’s time, energy and expertise. All this is valuable! People consistently report that they get much more out of it than the price of the workshop. Plus paying for the experience makes it sustainable so that you can come back.
Why should I cuddle with strangers?
You shouldn’t! However, once you’ve gone through the short workshop, you’re no longer strangers. Before we get to the cuddling, you’ve been introduced to everyone, you’ve talked with at least 3 people, and everyone is on the same page. A common culture has been created among us, at least for a few hours, so it’s not really like cuddling with strangers.
Many people are afraid of “strangers,” because when it’s someone off the street, there’s no way to know that boundaries will be respected. At a Cuddle Party, it’s different, because we all know to ask first. When we learn how to trust our own ability to ask for what we want and to say yes and no with people we don’t know, it’s easier to do it in all areas of our life.
Why should I cuddle with someone other than my partner?
There is no “should” in Cuddle Party. If you want to cuddle with your partner, bring them and learn the communication skills together!
People frequently confuse touch and sex. At a Cuddle Party, it’s about affection, kindness and connection. When we can distinguish clearly between touch and sex, it becomes easier to ask for what we want. This can make touching within a sexual relationship more satisfying.
Sometimes the kind of cuddling we want is from someone who is more like a parental figure, or a friend, or of a different gender than your partner.
Sometimes we want the focus to just be on us and with partners we’re often concerned about their needs.
Will I get cuddles?
Everyone is free to say yes or no at a Cuddle Party to any request for cuddles. Some people are there to cuddle everyone. Some people are there to practice their boundaries. I can’t guarantee that you will get cuddles, but the chances are high, especially if you have the courage to ask. But don’t worry, we’ll teach you how to do that.
This is a very common concern. What I can tell you is that there may be some people there who don’t want to cuddle with you. Just like there will be some people that you don’t want to cuddle with. But so far, I have never seen it happen that someone can’t find at least someone to cuddle with.
How is this not sexual?
In our culture, touch is often confused with sex. But think about the caresses you might give to a dying relative, or kids piled on a bed watching cartoons. Those aren’t sexual, and this isn’t either.
The vibe of a Cuddle Party is more sleepy than sexual. People cuddling in pairs or groups, and as the oxytocin kicks in, their bodies relax.
Though Cuddle Party is a sex-positive space (meaning, we think sex is perfectly healthy and good for you), we encourage people to expand their definition of touch to include nurturing, affection and connection. If it’s something you’d do in front of an 8 year old, it’s welcome at a Cuddle Party.
Sexual urges might arise at a Cuddle Party (just like they do in other parts of life), but we all agree not to act on them. It’s pretty easy to control yourself… we all do it all the time!
If you’d like to stay updated on when the Cuddle Parties are, follow us on Facebook or send me an email.