Why the Love of Your Life Isn’t Finding You

Want to know why the love of your life isn’t finding you? Have you ever heard that cliche`”It’s not you, it’s me”. Well, that applies in this case. Hear me out.

Have you ever seen these people who have no problem attracting a lot of nice looking, stable people with great personalities? How do they do it?

Well, we all have this little thing in our brain stem called the Reticular Activating System (RAS). All data comes through the RAS and it decides what is important and what isn’t. What it doesn’t do is decide whether the information is true. This is an important distinction, as you will soon see.

So, let’s say that your conscious mind says that you really want to meet a nice woman, but your unconscious mind says all women are liars. The unconscious mind rules, so when your RAS looks for what’s important, guess what it’s going to see? Evidence that all the women you’re meeting are liars. This doesn’t mean that it’s necessarily true. Your brain is collecting all sorts of information. The gatekeeper RAS is only presenting you with what you told it was important, not what is true.

Let me show you another example. Let’s say that you’re at a friend’s dinner party and there are lots of single guys there. You glance around and see no one who immediately attracts your attention. Later you start playing a card game and notice that a man who blended into the background before. Now he looks absolutely gorgeous.

What happened? Perhaps relaxing and the fun of the game brought out his smile or laughter and that caught your eye. If your RAS is programmed to look at that as a sign of a match for you, this guy suddenly pops on your radar. When we believe someone is a match, we look for other signs to back this up. The reverse is also true. When we don’t like someone, we’ll look for signs to validate that. This means that if the love of your life isn’t finding you, you may need to change your beliefs.

Everyone is lovable. The more love you have inside you, the more lovely everyone else will appear. This will give you many options to choose from when searching for a mate. This doesn’t mean they will all be compatible or that they will feel the same way about you. It does mean you will increase the odds of finding “the one.”

Be beautiful on the inside. Treat yourself well. Look your best. Laugh more. Be sociable. Love yourself. This will shine through. When potential partners see the love you feel for yourself, it will generally register something positive to the RAS which opens the door to romance. If you have ever had a dry romance spell, then gotten a boyfriend and suddenly everyone wants your number, you know what I’m talking about. When you’re shining from the inside out, people notice. Give them something to notice.

If you’re not getting great candidates, change your inner script. If you don’t believe you’re fabulous, you will attract partners that will see in you what you see in you. When you feel great about you and other people, Prince Charmings will be lining up outside your gate.

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