When you are in need of a solution and don’t know what to do, remember that how you do anything is how you do everything. This can do one of two things for you. It can either help you figure out what got you stuck, or it can help you get unstuck. How?
Well, we are habitual creatures. We don’t meet each situation with new eyes or new skills. We employ the same thinking and same skills with situation A as we do situation G. Really, it’s true. If you are wake up grouchy in the morning, you probably do that regardless of where you are, what time you get up, or what time you went to bed. If you tend to take responsibility when something goes wrong at work, you probably do that in your relationship, in sports, and in your finances. If you keep a tidy car, your office, home, and garage are probably neat too. We are the sum of our habits.
So, take a look at what is not working well in your life right now. Now apply the “How you do anything is how you do everything” statement to it to see what you contributed to making it that way. How was your attitude towards this thing? Were your priorities lined up in such a way to keep things balanced? Did you allow an outside influence too much power? Did you follow through? Did you ask for help? Were you true to your values? Did you speak your mind? Did you create healthy boundaries? These are just a few of the things that can show up that can help you see how you habitually move in the world.
So, let’s say you do this and figure out that the habit that got you unbalanced is lack of self-care. So bring your awareness to how you care for yourself. Where do you cut corners? What do you skip? What do you tell yourself when you are not making this a priority. It’s not about making a check list of self care tasks that you hold yourself accountable for. It’s more about the underlying drive that makes you either do those tasks or not do those tasks.
Perhaps you discover that your belief is that you think everyone else is more important than you. So the “how you do anything” is you do everything as if you are inferior or second tier.
The next step is to ask yourself who do you want to be? If this were me, I’d want to be someone who sees himself as equal to all others. So, if that were true, I’d have to do for myself what I would do for others. If I move through life like a person who loves himself as much as others, this will do far more for me than completing items on a checklist because this permeates my entire life! I’d be kinder to myself in many ways. As you go through your life, treat yourself like you are as important and valuable as everyone else. I would bet that within a short period of time, you will see that original problem fade into the background.
Correcting ineffective habits is a really easy way to create a healthier, happier life. Once established, habits are self-sustaining. We just do them over and over again, so you get great bang for your buck. With a little mindfulness and effort, you could have a whole new life in a short time. Why not give it a try?