Do’s and Don’ts for Handling Tears

One of the first things we do in life is cry. As babies, we do it a lot. We’re all really good at it, then we do it less and less. Part of the reason is because we have less to cry about. We can walk without falling. We can get our own food. But there is […]

Safeguarding Your Privacy

I am a privacy freak. I think everyone has the right to determine who knows what about them. You should have the power to control what, when, if, and how information about you is shared. When you come into my office, that’s what you get. I have, and have had, a lot of clients who […]

If You’re Stuck, Try What’s Behind Door Number Three

When we are stuck, we can almost always see two options. The first is the “obvious” one that involves change. The second is doing what we’ve always done. For some reason change isn’t appealing. Usually it involves a compromise with some gains and some losses, and the losses are more than we really want to […]

Arousal, Orgasm, and Rape

Psst! I have a confession to make that I think everyone needs to hear. I am really embarrassed to admit that I worked as a domestic violence advocate and rape crisis counselor for a while without knowing that a rape survivor could experience arousal and orgasm. Yep! That was shamefully left out of my training. […]

Why People with Unhealthy Boundaries Are Scary

I’ve seen a lot of articles written about boundaries that focus on the person with poor boundaries. Boundary violations and weakness affect not only the person with the unhealthy boundaries. People with unhealthy boundaries are scary for those they come in contact with, too. So let’s take a look at how unhealthy boundaries impact other […]

How to Stop Letting Others Wreck Your Day

Do other people wreck your day? Do you feel like if other people just got their stuff together, you would be fine? Is your day fine until you get around other people? If this sounds like you, this article is for you. Here is how to stop letting others wreck your day. It’s Not About You […]

Defeating Loneliness: How to Create Connection With Others

We often hear that a crowd is the loneliest place. There are a lot of lonely people out there who have other people in their lives. They just don’t feel connected to them. This is really an easy fix. Anyone can learn to create connection with others. Here are the steps to make it happen. […]

What Does a Real Man Look Like?

What does a real man look like? Guys can have a hard time trying to find a healthy role model. How does a guy practice to be a man when society has so many examples of hyper masculinity or femininity as the “standard” for a man? By “hyper masculine” I mean the men who show these […]

It Takes a Village

There is an African proverb that says, “It takes a village to raise a child.” I will go further and say that it takes a village to sustain a healthy human. We live in such an individualistic society. Day old babies live in a crib alone. We think that if a child doesn’t have a bed all […]

Learn From Your Mistakes Before You Make Them

Wouldn’t it be cool if you could learn from your mistakes before you make them? That’s what Viktor Frankl suggests in a quote from his book, Man’s Search for Meaning. He says, “Live as if you were living already for the second time and as if you had acted the first time as wrongly as you […]