Death is Part of Life

Does anyone else ever marvel at how unnatural our lives have become? For example, we send women off to germ filled hospitals to have babies. Up until the 1950s, most births were home births. Now all of sudden birth has become a medical issue. And what about sex? It’s something that our kids find out […]

Feedback is Your Greatest Teacher

Before I was a therapist, I was a dancer and dance teacher. It was through that experience that I learned that feedback is your greatest teacher. When my students and I embarked on our first competition experience, only one of them made it to the podium. Despite the lack of trophies, what we took away was […]

The Magic of the Gratitude Letter

When I was in high school, matriculated students would routinely come to my choir class to visit with the teacher. It was easy to see that he was the kind of person who made an impact on people’s lives. He often sought out the kids who didn’t have good grades, might have problematic home lives, […]

Why You Hate What Initially Attracted You To Your Partner

Have you ever been in a relationship where you met someone whom you thought was so cool. You really loved something about him or her and then later it was the thing that you caused the worst problems? Ever wonder why you hate what initially attracted you to your partner? Here are some examples of […]

How to Reduce Emotional Crises

A crisis is an event that overwhelms your ability to cope. So, the best way to reduce emotional crises is to increase your baseline level of functioning and increase the number and mastery of your skills. How do you know you are having an emotional crisis? Here are some signs: physical symptoms like headache, crying, […]

Get Unplugged

Want to reduce your stress? Get unplugged. Want to reduce your anxiety or depression? Get unplugged. Want better relationships? Get unplugged. Seriously. The modern lifestyle of hustling and stimulation from the time we wake up until we go to sleep feels normal. It’s what we do. Our brains are always going. Our nervous system is always […]

Don’t Hang Onto Things Beyond Their Usefulness

Health is about balance. If things are flowing at just the right pace, we have balance. If they become stagnant or move too fast, we get out of balance, begin to feel stress, and eventually become dis-eased. One way to keep things from becoming stagnant is to not hang onto things beyond their usefulness. What […]

You Are the Problem. You are the Solution.

Take a look at your life. What’s wrong? Whatever you answer, know that in truth, you are the problem and you are the solution. How you identify the problem is simply how the imbalance shows up in your life. This might sound like a “blame the victim” approach. It’s not. It’s actually empowering. When you […]

Don’t Go to the Pity Party

A pity party is an indulgent bout of feeling sorry for yourself that is often accompanied by blame, anger, and feelings of helplessness. If you are invited or are tempted to throw your own event, don’t go to the pity party! A pity party is not the same thing as feeling your feelings. Feeling your feeling […]

Master and Servant

One of the biggest issues I see with couples is the power inequality. There are actually four different types of power dynamics in relationships: servant/servant; master/master; master/servant; and equal partners. Only two of them are balanced. Only one of them is healthy. Servant/Servant This is the least common. Probably because it’s not sustainable. In this relationship, […]