Don’t Go to the Pity Party

A pity party is an indulgent bout of feeling sorry for yourself that is often accompanied by blame, anger, and feelings of helplessness. If you are invited or are tempted to throw your own event, don’t go to the pity party! A pity party is not the same thing as feeling your feelings. Feeling your feeling […]

Master and Servant

One of the biggest issues I see with couples is the power inequality. There are actually four different types of power dynamics in relationships: servant/servant; master/master; master/servant; and equal partners. Only two of them are balanced. Only one of them is healthy. Servant/Servant This is the least common. Probably because it’s not sustainable. In this relationship, […]

Love Increases When Judgment Decreases

It’s easy to fall in love, isn’t it? You meet someone with whom you experience wild chemistry. You can’t get enough of him. He can’t get enough of you. It doesn’t matter what you do, you just want to be together. And then something happens to change that. Instead of pushing everything aside to be […]

Ask Useful Questions

If you want growth, you have to be able to ask useful questions. Useful questions take you from where you are to where you want to be. They are productive, creative, positive, and affirming. The answers provide information that you didn’t already have or combine data that was previously unrelated in ways that lead to […]

How To Waste Time in Therapy

I recently wrote an article about how to get the most out of therapy. It talked about how to prepare and what to do in session. I framed it that way to keep things positive. To have a complete picture of how to make therapy work for you, I realize that you also need to know […]

The Downside to Mindfulness

Mindfulness is all the rage now. You see it in universities, corporate America, therapy offices, as well as New Age establishments. We all hear about the benefits that come from chilling out. And why not? It’s really great stuff, right? What you don’t hear about is the missing warning label. Yes, like all things, there […]

Every Day in Every Way, I am Getting Better and Better

Some of you are familiar with Emile Coue’s famous phrase, “Every day in every way, I am getting better and better.” Coue` was a French psychologist who believed that most of our problems -mental and physical – were a result of our thinking. He came up with this affirmation and had his patients repeat it […]

How to Keep a Dream Journal

Examining your dreams is a way of honoring your unconscious, learning about yourself, growing into a stronger, truer version of yourself, harnessing the power of your unconscious, deepening your spirituality, and working through issues. Creating a dream journal is an excellent way to start, document, and further the journey. Not a dreamer? Don’t worry. Everyone […]

Why Love Hurts

Everything in popular culture tells us that love hurts. This is what we hear in songs. It’s all over romantic comedies. It’s been written about in many famous books. Every wonder why love hurts? Consider the law of duality. It says that everything that exists has an opposite. That is how we make sense of reality. […]

Healing Meditations

Healing meditation can be used to bring calm, tranquility, and healing to yourself, others, and the world. It can happen instantaneously or sometimes it takes a bit more time. You can spend as little as five minutes per day on it or do it for a longer period of time. Here are three examples to […]