Master and Servant

One of the biggest issues I see with couples is the power inequality. There are actually four different types of power dynamics in relationships: servant/servant; master/master; master/servant; and equal partners. Only two of them are balanced. Only one of them is healthy. Servant/Servant This is the least common. Probably because it’s not sustainable. In this relationship, […]

Love Increases When Judgment Decreases

It’s easy to fall in love, isn’t it? You meet someone with whom you experience wild chemistry. You can’t get enough of him. He can’t get enough of you. It doesn’t matter what you do, you just want to be together. And then something happens to change that. Instead of pushing everything aside to be […]

When Couple’s Counseling is Not Advisable

As a therapist, I am a huge fan of couple’s counseling. It can help you to grow emotionally, become more effective at work and in relationships, and be happier. There are times when it’s not a great idea however. Therapy is about making repairs and positive changes. Sometimes that is not possible. Here is a look […]

Why Love Hurts

Everything in popular culture tells us that love hurts. This is what we hear in songs. It’s all over romantic comedies. It’s been written about in many famous books. Every wonder why love hurts? Consider the law of duality. It says that everything that exists has an opposite. That is how we make sense of reality. […]

Don’t Be a Yes, But-ter…

Are you a yes, but -ter? What is a yes, but?  Yes, but-ting is when you agree with what is being said, then shoot it down. Here are some examples: I know I need to exercise. I just don’t have time. Of course upgrading my job skills would be great, but I don’t have the […]

How to Stop Failing in Relationships

Do you want to know how to stop failing in relationships? Read on! There are some really easy tips that anyone can achieve. Once you make a few small changes, you can be a relationship “winner.” Change the Definition of Failure Often when people define themselves as a “relationship failure,” they mean that they engage […]

Seven Soul Mate Myths to Discard

One of the most damaging concepts to love is the idea of soul mates. The popular idea is that there is one person out there who is made just for you who will make your life complete. If you are wondering if you are going to meet your soul mate, let me put your mind […]

The 411 on Emotional Affairs

Humans are social creatures. We need other people for companionship, validation, sex, growth, and even survival. It’s just a way that we are programmed to be. Our romantic partner often fills all those roles. When we get too busy, are feeling emotionally distant, or just haven’t invested in keeping the connection with our romantic partner, […]

When in Doubt, Love It Out

Everyone has moments (days, years?) when they just don’t know what to do. When in doubt, love it out. Love is never wrong. The effect can sometimes be instantaneous, and what you send out comes back to you. If someone has done you wrong, love it out. It doesn’t matter that they were wrong. It doesn’t […]