Just Say No

You know what? Most people don’t like hearing no, but “no” is a great gift. Think about it. There are a lot of people who can’t say no. They do things they don’t want to do. Some agree with things that they don’t sincerely support. They can feel burned out and taken advantage of because they […]

Dating While Introverted

Meeting new people can be really anxiety provoking. Add in the hope of making a love match and the stress level can go through the roof. If you’re introverted, this can feel impossible. Hang on. Here are some tips for dating while introverted. Don’t Date Strangers Small talk and getting-to-know-you chatter can be an energy […]

“But He Never Hit Me”

“…but he never hit me” Those are the words that many *women say when confronted with the idea that they are in an abusive relationship. Abuse doesn’t have to be physical. In fact, a lot of physical abuse is dismissed because it doesn’t result in blood or broken bones. Touching in anger of any sort […]

Two Ways to Love

There are two ways to love: conditionally and unconditionally. Conditional love is not really love. Love doesn’t hurt. It doesn’t demand. It’s peaceful. It sustains. When people say love hurts, they aren’t talking about love. They are talking about something else – quite possibly conditional love. We know conditional love because the good, positive, affirming […]

Feedback is Your Greatest Teacher

Before I was a therapist, I was a dancer and dance teacher. It was through that experience that I learned that feedback is your greatest teacher. When my students and I embarked on our first competition experience, only one of them made it to the podium. Despite the lack of trophies, what we took away was […]

Why You Hate What Initially Attracted You To Your Partner

Have you ever been in a relationship where you met someone whom you thought was so cool. You really loved something about him or her and then later it was the thing that you caused the worst problems? Ever wonder why you hate what initially attracted you to your partner? Here are some examples of […]

Master and Servant

One of the biggest issues I see with couples is the power inequality. There are actually four different types of power dynamics in relationships: servant/servant; master/master; master/servant; and equal partners. Only two of them are balanced. Only one of them is healthy. Servant/Servant This is the least common. Probably because it’s not sustainable. In this relationship, […]

Love Increases When Judgment Decreases

It’s easy to fall in love, isn’t it? You meet someone with whom you experience wild chemistry. You can’t get enough of him. He can’t get enough of you. It doesn’t matter what you do, you just want to be together. And then something happens to change that. Instead of pushing everything aside to be […]

When Couple’s Counseling is Not Advisable

As a therapist, I am a huge fan of couple’s counseling. It can help you to grow emotionally, become more effective at work and in relationships, and be happier. There are times when it’s not a great idea however. Therapy is about making repairs and positive changes. Sometimes that is not possible. Here is a look […]

Why Love Hurts

Everything in popular culture tells us that love hurts. This is what we hear in songs. It’s all over romantic comedies. It’s been written about in many famous books. Every wonder why love hurts? Consider the law of duality. It says that everything that exists has an opposite. That is how we make sense of reality. […]