You Can’t Divorce Your Family

The founding of America led to the change of some pretty cool ideas. For the first time, a nation embraced the idea that a person could be valued for their achievements rather than his family name. A person could worship in the way that his heart believed rather than in the way that the state prescribed. A person could change jobs.

These radical ideas led to huge advancements in self-esteem, productivity, and independence. Not just for the United States, but for the world. Suddenly life is about choices. It’s about freedom. Now people aren’t confined by tradition, religion, age, socioeconomic status, or geography. When you don’t like your situation, you can just change it. Spouse getting on your nerves? Get a divorce. If you don’t like your family, you can adopt a family of your choice among your friends. Or can you?

You can move far away. You can never speak to your family, but you can’t divorce your family. Your family lives within you. Your family culture becomes your culture. Its tragedies become your tragedies. How? There is some evidence that this happens through epigenetics.

“Epigenetics” has two meanings. First, it can mean the ways in which modification or packaging of DNA results in the transmission of information within a group of cells. The second usage refers to environmentally induced changes that are passed down from generation to generation. For example, if a goat is pregnant in a year of drought, the cellular environment of those kids are impacted by the lower level of nutrition on that year’s hay. This impacts the cellular environment which turns on or off the expression of genes. This is then passed on to future generations.

The impact of epigenetics is not limited to things like food. Social environment and trauma also play a part. If you are subjected to abuse or trauma, your brain actually changes. These changes impact you and can impact your children.

There is also the spiritual aspect of this that says that the trauma of your ancestors lives within you. That might sound like a lifelong prison sentence, but it doesn’t have to be. If you change that compulsive, abusive, or damaged energy within you, it will transform your family relationships, open the door to healing within them, and keep those patterns from being passed on to future generations.

So, you can run. You can hide, but you can’t get divorce your family. They are within you. If you can’t escape them, the best thing to do is heal them. Or heal yourself. It’s all the same thing. Call me when you are ready to make that change. Together we can make it happen in a safe and healthy way.

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